When I first became a manager, I wanted to establish my leadership presence, emanating an air of confidence and trust. Even though I had no idea what I was doing, it was important to me that it seemed like I did. So I acted in a way I believed to be professional- clear, competent, and consistent. My job, as I understood it, was to make sure tasks were completed and goals were met. All while building positive relationships with my team within appropriate boundaries and never, ever, accepting a Facebook friend request from someone I supervised.
These were solid guidelines, as it turned out, but following them successfully turned out to be far easier said than done. Despite a lingering desire for clarity and consistency in all things, I learned quickly that managing people is not always so clear. In fact, it rarely is.
What works with one staff does not work with another. What is successful in one situation is frustratingly unsuccessful in another. There is not a step-by-step formula or ten-item checklist to answer every question and solve every problem. Instead, each situation and each person requires its own approach, and this approach always requires a balance.
As human beings, our personalities, temperaments, and ways of thinking make us who we are. We bring all of these with us when we become managers, along with our unique communication, working, and problem-solving styles. Our values, beliefs, strengths, goals, and pet peeves too. Each of us is a combination of a myriad of factors and so is each of our staff. Managing effectively with all of these complex interactions is challenging to say the least.
Most of us tend to gravitate to one end or another of any number of spectrums. Talkative or quiet. Morning person or night owl. Aggressive or passive. But to manage people effectively, we need to learn how to adjust when the situation requires it (and nearly every situation requires it.) We cannot and should not fall back on the too oft-declared that’s just the way that I am. As leaders, we need to be quiet in some situations when we would normally want to be loud or vice versa. It is the great balancing act of management, and it is one of the most challenging parts of it.
The number one complaint about managers is absentee leadership. The number two complaint is micromanagement. A perfect example of where the answer lies somewhere in the middle, where balance is required for effective leadership. But finding that middle in each and every situation with each and every staff is a constant exercise in communication, understanding, and adjustment.
As a manager, it is important that you build relationships with each and every one of your staff, but you cannot get too friendly with any of them, and you absolutely cannot play favorites.
*You must ensure that expectations are upheld while being understanding of extenuating circumstances as they come up.
*You must establish expectations and boundaries clearly and consistently with each member of your team and treat everyone as an individual who requires different things from you.
*You have deadlines to meet, deadlines that cannot be extended, and you will have extenuating circumstances that will demand your attention causing you to miss said deadlines.
*You will need to lead your team and make tough decisions on your own while involving your team appropriately in decision making. Which decisions require whose involvement in what way will differ for each decision you make. The repercussions for excluding important voices or wasting time including voices that do not want or need to be included will cause frustration for both you and your team.
*As a leader, you will need to take accountability for your mistakes and your role in what is happening on your team. And you cannot beat yourself up as this will undermine your ability to lead effectively. At the same time you will need to hold your team accountable and ensure they are not beating themselves or each other up unnecessarily.
*You must create space for people to make mistakes and grow and you must recognize when someone is simply not a good fit for the role. You will need to determine how much time and how many mistakes you allow and this too will change depending on the role and the person occupying it.
*You will need to be confident in your ability to lead and you must remain humble. Somehow simultaneously.
*You must create a team culture where people can comfortably and respectfully disagree, and you will need to get everyone on board with decisions and team vision, striving for consensus while honoring varying perspectives.
*You will need to show your team that you are willing to get your hands dirty, so to speak, and never ask them to do anything you would not do yourself. And you will need to prioritize your time on those tasks required of you as a manager.
*You will need to be generous with your compensation and you will have a budget you need to work within. You will want to offer ample time off and you will need staff present to get the work done.
*You must have a thoughtful and thorough hiring process to ensure you choose the best people. And you will often need to hire quickly and more frequently than you would like.
*You will need to trust your staff to address their own conflicts with others and you will need to step in when the situation calls for it. It will rarely be clear when the situation will call for it.
*You must empower staff to advocate for themselves and their needs, and you must advocate for them but in a way that does not undermine their voice and does not leave them to fend for themselves.
*You need to create space for staff to pursue professional growth opportunities that are meaningful for them, and you need to make sure they are developing the skills they need to fulfill their responsibilities.
*You must make sure your team is your priority and you will need to balance the often-conflicting needs and demands of the organization as you play the true role of a middle manager.
*You will need to allow staff to work independently, you will want to make sure they do not feel neglected or ignored.
*You must show recognition and appreciation to your team, and do so in a sincere way while making sure no one feels overlooked or left out.
*You will need to make yourself available and accessible to your team to support them when they need you, and you need dedicated, uninterrupted time to complete the work you need to complete.
*You must provide coaching and feedback, so your staff know where they stand, and you need to recognize all of the biases that inform the way you perceive your staff’s performance.
The list goes on and on and on…
There are so many skills that will be required of you as a manager, but perhaps none is more important or more prevalent than this skill of balance. This great balancing act of management will be present in everything you do as a manager. Learning how to recalibrate depending on the person and the situation is one of the most important and most challenging skills you will develop. Accepting that the process is ongoing and will need to be constantly assessed and adjusted is an important first step. After that, there is no step-by-step process. There is no ten-item checklist. This great balancing act will always require work, but the more you work at it, the fewer times you will fall, and the quicker you will get back up when you do.
