My early days of being a manager were filled with frustration. There was so much I did not know about what it meant to lead a team and I made every mistake a manager can make (and then some). Not only was I struggling to lead my team, I was also struggling with my new place within my organization. I did not yet understand what it meant to be a leader, so instead of taking ownership of my position, I turned to my supervisor for everything. I mean, absolutely everything. Every problem, every question, every task, I reached out for clarity, advice, approval, or support, often all at once.
There was no way my supervisor could have supported me in the way I was expecting. I needed too much, expected too much, and became too easily impatient when I did not get it. When I had to wait for a response, I grew irritated with the wasted time. When I asked for advice, I became upset that my supervisor did not understand the intricacies of the issue. When I needed support, I felt neglected when it was not provided quickly or generously enough. I was a 31-year-old having a complete and utter temper tantrum.
In the transition to management, one of the most important adjustments is stepping into this new role self-assured and with authority. Becoming less dependent on others for the answers and providing some of our own. We are rarely told, taught, or shown this, yet it does not take long to experience the repercussions of not doing so. Our confidence decreases, our frustration increases and our team absorbs the worst of it .
In many cases, we become managers by following through consistently and effectively on what our supervisors have asked of us. It makes sense then that once we become managers, we continue to operate this way. But it just does not work that way. As a manager, your role and responsibility has shifted, and your behavior needs to shift along with it. To establish your authority, you need to start contributing in a different way. You are no longer there to follow the lead. You are there to lead both those under you (which is to be expected) and those above you (which can take some time to realize). Leading up becomes as important as leading down.
To establish yourself as a leader, you need to shift from always asking others for the answer to providing answers of your own. Less seeking, asking, and waiting. More recommending, providing and doing. You were put in your position because of your expertise, and it is your job to share it.
You know your job better than anyone else does. You know what your team needs better than your supervisor does. You know all the details, nuances, and dynamics of the people you supervise and the projects they are working on. When you need something from your supervisor to meet the goals of that work, you will understand far better what it is that you need. As a leader, instead of asking for it, you make your case for it.
Leading means leading up by using your knowledge, skills, and experience to advocate for what your team needs. You do this by presenting the situation to your supervisor, providing the necessary details (and nothing more), and using your expertise to make a recommendation. Whether you need money, staffing, permission or approval, your job now is to present what you need, why you need it and what your supervisor can do to make that happen.
If you continue to wait for input and approval from your supervisor on items that do not need their input or approval, you are both going to grow frustrated, just like I did, waiting instead of doing. To prevent this, you want to involve your supervisor only when necessary and only in a way that is going to achieve the goals you both have. Understanding when your supervisor wants to be involved and in what way is going to make both of your working lives so much easier and better.
To determine this, you and your supervisor need to have ongoing communication that is both honest and frequent. Start the conversation by simply asking, what level of involvement do you want in this project? Then solidify the details. Do they want regular updates without any expectation of responding? Do they want to look at the final product before you send it off? Do they want to meet before starting to help create the plan? Whatever it is, get on the same page about the expectations and continue to do so for each new task or project until you are in a rhythm that you both understand. When something is unclear, you need to ask for clarification.
Once you understand the level of involvement your supervisor wants, you can then proceed with your ideas and recommendations on how to move forward.
WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
When you have an idea or recommendation, when you are working through a problem, when you need to make a big decision, instead of asking your supervisor who has far less knowledge about the situation to make the call for you, you can lead up by coming to your supervisor with your recommendation of what you think you should do, why you think you should do it and what you need from them to make it happen.
You are the leader of your team. You know your team best. Come to your supervisor with a recommendation based on that expertise and provide the necessary information to back up why your recommended course of action is best. Anticipate and articulate the potential benefits and consequences of your recommendation. Be clear about what you need to make it happen. Speak with authority.
Your supervisor is busy and will not always have time to understand all of the details and in most cases they will not have to. They chose you to lead because they believe in your ability to lead. Make sure you believe in it too.
WHEN YOU ARE NOT SURE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
If you are not sure what to do or how to move forward with a certain situation, you can lead up by seeking advice and support from your supervisor. To do so effectively, you want to present your situation in a way that they have the information they need to respond intelligently and that they understand exactly what you are asking from them. Sometimes, you may be seeking their advice, other times a resource and other times still some support as you work through the decision on your own. Whatever the case, let your supervisor know what the situation is at the level of detail they need (and nothing more) and exactly what you are asking of them to move the situation forward.
No matter how long you lead, you will never know all of the answers. Being an effective leader means reaching out when you need support from others. If you do this all the time, this will cause an unnecessary burden on those around you. When you do it selectively, it will enhance your leadership by showing you are willing to learn but that you do not need someone to hold your hand every step of the way.
WHEN YOUR BOSS IS THE ROADBLOCK
I once had a boss that was really hard to get a hold of. I spent too much time waiting to connect with them for approval on things I needed to move forward. In many cases, I did not need their approval, but I was still stuck in the mindset of an employee thinking they needed permission for everything. After one too many times of waiting much too long, I tried a new approach. I reached out to my supervisor to clarify what they wanted input on and what the best way was for me to get it. Then I followed suit. The first time I needed their input, I reached out as we agreed and provided all (but not more than) the information they needed.
Dear Boss,
The XYZ grant is due on Friday, November 5. If you would like to look it over and make any changes, please send your edits by Wednesday COB.
Thank you,
Katherine
I never heard back from them and proceeded without their input. I continued to do this, sometimes to my boss’ frustration and other times without them noticing. It did not magically solve everything, but it did allow me to proceed with my work without having to constantly chase them down.
The tone and manner of these communications, like everything else, will depend on you, your boss, and the dynamics of your relationship. My communication tends to be right to the point which some people appreciate and some people do not. I adjusted accordingly and you should too.
LEARN TO SPEAK YOUR BOSS’ LANGUAGE
In a perfect world, you will have a supervisor who supports you, challenges you and gives you everything you need when you need it to be successful. In the real world, there are lots of human things that can get in the way. When your boss is not giving you what you need, it does you and your staff no good to throw your hands up in the air in defeat. Instead, you need to do whatever you can to get what you need to be successful. This leading up entails adjusting to your supervisor. Often called managing up, I refer to this as learning to speak your boss’ language both in how they communicate and in what they care about.
If your boss never checks their email, it is a waste of your time to constantly email them and then complain that they are not emailing you back. Connect with them in the way they prefer to connect. Then, speak their language of communication. Do they like to shoot the breeze, or do they like to get right down to it? Do they like a lot of details or do they just want the big picture? Do they prefer to respond to something they can look at or do they prefer to talk it out? Whatever it is, do what you can to speak their language so you can get what you need.
The most important part of this is understanding what your supervisor cares about. I had a boss once who loved stories and anecdotes. I loved data. In the beginning of our working together, I would present data to support whatever my request was. My boss could not hear it. It was like we were literally speaking two different languages. When I realized that my boss spoke the language of stories, I started to speak that language too. When I needed something, I would frame my request around a story of one of our clients, and most of the time that got me what I needed.
What language does your boss speak? What do they care about? Make sure you know and make sure you frame your conversations around that.
STEP INTO YOUR LEADERSHIP ROLE
When you become a leader in your organization, people will expect you to act like a leader. This entails you sharing your wisdom and expertise far more and asking for validation far less.
Not all supervisors are good, and you may work for one who is not. But good supervisors will appreciate hearing your input and will be grateful to have fewer decisions to make and fewer requests to respond to. Show your supervisor the leader you are by sharing your expertise when it comes to decisions regarding your team and the greater organization. Stop asking for permission and start leading your team more effectively by leading up.
