There are a lot of things we do with good intentions that get poor results. There is no great harm in this provided we change our ways once we realize it. Unfortunately, when it comes to being in charge, we too often continue to operate with good intentions that lead to poor results and choose not to do anything about it.
In many cases, the initial reasons are legitimately good- initially anyway: not wanting to burden your team, wanting to show that you can get your hands dirty too, wanting to do all that you can…
In some cases, these well-intentioned reasons are combined with some selfish ones- wanting all the glory, believing you are the only one who can do it just the right way- and sometimes the selfish reasons are the only reasons.
Regardless of the intention, as a leader, it is essential that you are honest and aware about the results, and that you finally accept once and for all, that you cannot- and should not- be doing everything yourself.
Trying to do it all has far-reaching consequences, and none of them is positive. There is the obvious stress, burnout, and toll on well-being that are all too common and incredibly harmful. The consequences we do not think enough about, however, are those that impact the team. You may think that you can handle it or that leaders are meant to shoulder the burden, but your self-sacrifice is not serving anyone.
For starters, no matter how competent or productive you are, prolonged overwork and stress will catch up with you one way or another. This is not only harmful to you but it is hurting your team as well. When you are not able to lead with clear focus and presence, your ability to effectively support your team diminishes. By trying to do too much, you are limiting your ability to lead your team as effectively as you are capable of.
Secondly, by trying to do it all yourself, you are undermining your team. You are preventing them from contributing their strengths and gifts which will not only demoralize them but diminish the productivity and impact of your team as a whole. Further, doing everything yourself means you are preventing your team from learning new skills which could otherwise help their career growth. Both of these demonstrate a lack of trust and will result in staff disengagement and eventual turnover.
Lastly, by doing tasks that your staff could and should be doing, you are preventing yourself from doing the leadership “stuff” that only you can and should be doing. Pitching in when needed is important, but doing so as a rule rather than the exception inevitably takes time away from the leading you should be doing.
You need to stop trying to do it all and let go.
I’m guessing a part of you already knows that. The challenge then becomes, how do you start?
Like everything else, it starts with asking yourself why you are making the choices you are making? What is motivating you to do it all on your own and what is preventing you from sharing the opportunities and the tasks? Understanding why you are making the choices you are making is essential to making different choices. Be honest with yourself about what you are concerned about or even afraid of.
Are you trying to prove your worth?
Are you trying to get your team to like you?
Do you lack trust in your team’s ability?
Do you lack flexibility in appreciating how other people do things?
Do you like being in control?
Once you figure out why you are trying to do it all, then you can start to change your behavior by focusing on the underlying reason. Like all change, this will be hard and bumpy and uncomfortable. Do not try to go it alone as you have been doing and instead work with your boss, a coach, your team, and your colleagues to get the support you need and help you troubleshoot along the way. Whatever your motivation is for trying to do it all, it is likely well-ingrained and will take a lot of un-graining to change and do things differently.
Once you stop trying to do it all, you may notice that things are not running quite as smoothly as when you were doing them all by yourself. Resist your “told you so” impulse, including the one you only say in your head. Recognize that the bumps are normal and to be expected. Of course, people doing something for the first time are not going to be as effective or efficient as those who have been doing it for a long time. Have some patience and grace as you and your staff adjust to new tasks and a new commitment to shared responsibility.
Change is rarely smooth or easy but when it is the result of good intentions and a commitment to positive results, the bumps are worth it.
