Most people want to be good at what they do but many don’t know how. Armed but ill-equipped with good intentions, they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, thinking they are performing well because they want to perform well. This is often the case with those in management, few of whom receive appropriate training and guidance in order to manage successfully. As a result, they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, often in the spirit of doing something good, believing they are doing something good, without anyone to tell them otherwise.
It is understandable why people who struggle continue to struggle, but it is neither beneficial nor acceptable for it to continue happening. With the absence of guidance and support, leaders often have to take it upon themselves to learn what actually works as opposed to what they think works. This involves incredible self-awareness, an intentional and unrelenting effort to solicit and implement feedback, and a personal investment and commitment to professional growth and development.
Good intentions are admirable but if they are producing challenges for your team, their goodness only goes so far. Below are some common mistakes that result from good intentions. Which ones have you experienced? Which ones are you currently experiencing? What would you add to the list?
- Asking for input without implementing it– We often ask our teams for input with every intention of implementing it but then something happens and we don’t. Maybe time becomes a factor. Or upper management has different ideas. Or any number of other factors. These are realities and ones your team will understand once you communicate them. If this communication does not happen, however, it appears that your attempt at inclusion was all for show. When something prevents this input from being implemented, communicate the reason and how to prevent it going forward. Further, it is not feasible nor necessary to implement every idea your team has, but if these ideas are never implemented, staff will stop offering them. If you ask for their input, hear it, and be upfront when you will implement it or not. If you need to make an executive decision without your staff’s input be upfront about that too. They may not always like it, but they will respect your honesty and they will appreciate not having their time wasted.
- Rewarding everyone for the accomplishments of one- In a perfect world, all team members would contribute positively and consistently. In reality, different team members vary in their work ethic, productivity, dedication and contribution. Despite this, many managers, in the name of team camaraderie and oneness, will praise and reward all team members in the same way despite drastic differences in contribution. Instead of building team dynamics, this can cause resentment and can demotivate those who work hard only to be recognized in the same way as those who do not. Instead, it is important that a manager recognizes outstanding staff and works with staff who are not pulling their proverbial weight. When staff realizes that their work is being noticed, their attitude and behavior will shift. If, on the other hand, management shows they are not paying attention and are not differentiating by performance, staff will respond accordingly.
- Punishing everyone for the transgressions of one- This is the result of managers wanting to address a negative situation that happened with one employee by doing so with all employees. Like that one time that one staff member was allowed to work from home and abused it so now no one can work from home. Or that time one team member made a mistake and everyone had to stay late to fix it. The intention is sincere, if not lazy, and generally only serves to cause resentment among staff who are unfairly punished for the mistakes of others. The staff who could work effectively from home and whose lives could be made significantly easier by doing so are no longer able through no fault of their own. It is far more effective- and challenging -to confront and work with the offender rather than the entire group. Yes, it is hard, and no, you don’t want to make anyone feel bad, but this is a significant part of your role as a leader. Focus on the problem that is actually occurring rather than the one that has not or never will.
- Implementing a policy or memo for everyone that is really targeted toward one- This is very closely related to #3. In the spirit of not wanting to single someone out and make him feel bad, managers will frequently use this tactic. One team member wears jeans on days other than Friday so you circulate a memo throughout the office. Unfortunately, people see right through this, particularly in smaller offices and smaller teams. People pay attention and people talk. They know who is doing what, and when there is a policy, memo or meeting that results from one person’s actions, everyone knows who is being targeted, including the person being targeted. This is harmful in so many ways, specifically because it causes resentment among staff members who are being negatively affected by something they did not do. Additionally, it sends a message to the team that the manager is not willing to confront employees who need confronting.
- Saying you have an open-door policy when you don’t- Most managers want to be accessible and most of them believe they are, so with all good intention, they let their teams know that they have an open-door policy and that they are available anytime. In reality, this is often not the case. Once staff reaches out and you say you are too busy or you react in a way that signals as such, they will receive the message that your words were empty. The good news is, an open-door policy is not necessary for strong, effective management. It is okay to be busy and it is okay to want to maximize and manage your time by setting up an expectation that team members make an appointment when they need to see you. Or have certain hours of the day/week that are open office hours. In addition, you should be having regular meetings with each team member during which most issues can be discussed. As items come up, there can be a system in place where staff can request time with you. Make sure the process is clear and make sure you make yourself available and accessible when you say you will. Staff understand the constraints of time, but no one benefits when you say you are always available but clearly are not.
- Saying you are open to feedback when you are not- Self-awareness is a challenge for all of us, and this is as true for managers as for anybody else. When managers say they want feedback, they may really think they want it and they may really think they are open to it. In reality, too many managers react badly when staff offer feedback and in many cases, it is held against staff in the way they are treated and in the way they are evaluated. And this all may happen with very little intentionality or awareness on the manager’s part. If you are sincere in wanting open and honest feedback from your team- and I hope you are- do not put the onus on your team members to take the initiative. This is a highly vulnerable situation, wrought with complex hierarchy and relationship dynamics. Instead, create consistent and expected space for staff to offer feedback. This can be a regular agenda item during supervision meetings, a suggestion box, a 360-review system, surveys, etc. Provide context to make it easier. Ask for feedback on specific items, ideally before they happen, so staff have something clear to share. For example, if you want to work on the way you facilitate meetings, let your staff know you want to more effectively involve everyone’s voice. Ask them to pay particular attention to this during the next team meeting and to provide feedback during your next one-on-one. This will help staff become comfortable with the process and ideally, will lessen the need for such structure as time goes on. Importantly, always thank your staff for providing feedback, whether you agree with it or not- and you do not always have to agree with it. This will encourage them to continue giving it and will model an appropriate way to receive it.
- Granting a “surprise” early release- Every office I’ve ever worked in has done this, and my very planned and organized self has questioned it every time. Once again, the intention is good- to provide some extra time off for staff and to do so in a way that has the appearance of spontaneity and generosity. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate getting a head start on a vacation as much as the next person, but there are too many problems with this “surprise” way of doing it. The day before a long weekend or a holiday is generally fraught with traffic and crowded grocery stores. Hoards of people travel and/or shop around this time and are coordinating with countless other people. It makes it incredibly challenging if they don’t know when they will be getting out of work. In some cases, it is the same time every year so people can plan accordingly, but it is often the case that one year or one holiday it is 1:00 and another it is 3:00 and the next year not at all. It would be far more beneficial and appreciated by staff to know ahead of time when they can go home so they can plan accordingly.
- Not addressing issues directly when they come up- Building relationships with staff is a foundational component of a manager’s role. Setting appropriate boundaries and creating a relationship that is positive and personal while remaining professional is a delicate balancing act. For many, as relationships deepen, the lines get blurred and managers are not immune. They grow to like their staff and they want their staff to like them too. This is natural but it cannot overshadow the responsibility a manager holds. When a staff member does something that needs to be addressed, it needs to be addressed. If not, a number of negative consequences can result- a) the behavior continues, often without the employee’s knowledge that she is doing anything wrong; b) other staff wonder why the behavior is allowed to continue and will see favoritism and/or deem the manager weak for not confronting the issue; c) the manager will wait until the annual review to address the behavior causing the employee to feel blindsided and frustrated that the manager didn’t address it earlier. Instead, it benefits everyone involved for the manager to confront what needs to be confronted in the time and manner in which it needs to be confronted. It is not easy but it gets easier with time and uncomfortable or not, it is a necessary part of being a manager.
- Treating employees the same- Each staff member has his own skills, motivations, communication styles, strengths and goals. Some meet expectations, some surpass them and some miss them altogether. People have different titles, tasks and responsibilities. Despite all this, in the name of fairness and good intention, managers will often treat each team member the same. As well-intentioned as this may be, it often results in negative ramifications where staff can feel dispensable and anonymous. It is a precarious situation in which managers need to follow laws and HR policies but at the same time, know and treat staff members as the individuals they are. Some staff like to chit chat while others want to get to their desks, put their headphones on and get to work. Some love office softball games and others dread them with every ounce of their being. Some talk more in meetings and others less. The key is to get to know each of your staff members and cater your interactions accordingly without showing favoritism.
- Treating employees differently- This is a common offshoot of #9. With the good intention of catering to the individual needs of each staff member, managers often implement a style and system that is unfair. This commonly shows up when it comes to staff’s family circumstances. For example, managers may decide who stays late based on who has kids at home. Or may distribute bonuses based on personal circumstances rather than professional performance. Or make assumptions about a staff member because of her generation or education status or any number of demographic factors. There is a fine line between individualizing a relationship and creating one based on stereotyped assumptions and factors unrelated to work.
Managing is a rewarding and complex role that takes time and intention to master. As illustrated in the examples above, managing well is not easy, and it requires more than good intentions. You must make a commitment to getting better and investing the time and energy that is required. Once you supervise other people, this becomes the most important part of your job, and in order to be effective, you need to treat it as such. Even when you stumble- and you most certainly will- your staff will respect and appreciate your willingness to learn from your mistakes and get better. It is unfair to your staff to continue saying that your intentions are good. Instead, your results must be good too.
5 Responses