How much do you enjoy people telling you what to do?
What about criticizing you?
Judging you?
How much do you enjoy telling other people what to do? Criticizing them? Judging them?
Most of us do not enjoy any of it. In fact, we want nothing to do with it. Yet, every day in offices, we experience feedback in just this way- directive, critical and judgmental. No wonder most people dread it.
One of the many challenges with feedback is that we are taught to give and receive it in a way that does not resemble how we normally communicate and connect with other people. We are raised to only say something nice or nothing at all. We value friendships that are non-judgmental. We learn that telling people what to do does not work. So when we are about to give someone else feedback and we do it in this way, of course we are uncomfortable. When we receive feedback in this way of course we are defensive.
And, it simply does not work.
Which is why coaching is such an attractive alternative. For you and your staff.
Younger generations are familiar with coaching, and they are looking for- demanding it almost- at work. It is up to organizations to respond. And respond you should. Because coaching is not just a nice perk or something to make others feel good. It works. Research has shown that coaching results in significant increases in self-confidence, performance and job satisfaction. It does so through a framework that:
- is collaborative
- is solution focused
- leverages people’s strengths
- focuses on people’s goals
- allows staff to make their own decisions
Coaching is such an effective companion of feedback because it recognizes and welcomes the many different perspectives, approaches, styles and strategies that we bring to our work. Too often feedback tries to make the subjective objective. Feedback tries to dictate what is good and what is bad, what is acceptable and what is not. But of course, what one person finds acceptable, another will find unacceptable. What staff defines as high-quality may appear to be low-quality in the eyes of a supervisor.
This presentation was not engaging.
This report is not well-written.
Says who?
Based on what?
This type of feedback only allows for the perspective of one person- the one giving it. Coaching, on the other hand, involves staff in a collaborative process to mutually come up with the best answer or solution. This approach treats people as the professionals they are and demonstrates that their thoughts, ideas and opinions are valuable and valued.
Your role as a leader is to help your staff grow. People do not grow by being told to grow. They grow because they are motivated to grow and they have what they need to grow including resources, support and trust. As a supervisor, coaching provides all of these. It will not work in all situations with all people, but it is an invaluable resource in the work you do to support your team.
So how do you start using coaching skills with your staff? You do not need to become a certified coach. You can start by learning and implementing some basic coaching skills. You can read more below under SOME OTHER POSTS YOU MAY LIKE. There are also lots of other resources and trainings out there. Your HR should have some recommendations. Talk to colleagues and friends. Invest in developing this very important, very impactful skill and everyone will be better for it.
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If you would like more support giving and receiving effective feedback, join our value-packed, self-paced virtual course. This course will give you everything you need to better support your staff while becoming a stronger leader. Start today and revisit the material as many times as is helpful. Click the photo below to learn more.
