Years ago, I made a bucket list- an actual physical list. There are many items on it, 80% of which involve travel. Over the years I have crossed off quite a few including a long-awaited trip to Green Bay to see my Pats play and a visit to Niagara Falls.
In addition to travel, there are books I hope to read (Infinite Jest took up an entire summer), classic movies I hope to see (Sound of Music, one of these days), and goals I want to reach. I am hopeful that I will get through most of my list, recognizing that some items will be more difficult than others.
Similarly, when it comes to travel some places will be easier to visit than others, and regardless of how well I plan, I recognize that I am often at the mercy of things I cannot control. Such was the case with the Northern Lights.
The Northern Lights have always been a top item on my list and one of the more challenging ones due to distance, their inherent unpredictability, and my lifelong aversion to the cold.
Through an unexpected conference acceptance, I had the opportunity to visit Anchorage, Alaska. My chance to see the Northern Lights suddenly within my reach. I booked my tour, crossed my fingers, and bundled up.
Freezing, jetlagged, and exhausted, I pushed through and anxiously met my tour guide at 10:00pm for our adventure. It would all be worth it to finally see this amazing phenomenon in person. I could hardly wait.
Except we didn’t see a bloody thing.
I was disappointed of course, despite preparing myself for this possibility. To be so close and yet remain as far as when I began…it was tough to accept.
On my last night in Anchorage, my tour guide unexpectedly called and asked if I wanted to come out again. A seat had opened up and it was mine if I wanted it. I had not planned on this, and although the possibility was exciting, I was beat. This was the last night of a 16-day, 5 city, 2 country whirlwind of a trip. I was tired, still cold from three days before, and frankly not sure I was up to trying again.
I spent the next couple of hours going back and forth, asking others what they thought, looking for anything to help me decide. It was so cold and so late, and I was so very tired. But I was so close to making this dream of mine come true. Was I really going to let any of this stop me? Eventually, the answer was no. It was time to bundle up again.
Thankfully, this time was different. We saw the lights in all their glory, and I still cannot believe it. I cannot believe how lucky I was and how close I came to not seeing them at all. What a huge regret that would have been.
In addition to the memories and some pretty amazing photos, that night taught me a lot about perseverance and the importance of sticking with something that matters even when it gets hard.
PLANNING AND WISHING ARE NOT THE SAME THING
There are a lot of things I wish I would do but for various reasons know I never will. In my mind, these remain wishes or fantasies, and I treat them as such. But if I really want to make something happen, I know that it takes more than wishing. If it is truly my goal, then I need to do my part.
Seeing the Northern Lights took an exorbitant amount of time, planning (and money!) to achieve. It also took some courage and risk. Just wishing to see them would not have made it so. I had to do my part.
Taking the time to realize your goals can be challenging and in moments can seem impossible. It is easy to keep putting them off until…when…as soon as… The platitude that it is never too late is dangerous, because sometimes it is. Sometimes we wait too long. We need to grab the chance as it comes.
Twenty years ago, I had to cancel a trip to San Francisco and was consoled by the fact that I would be back soon. It has been twenty years and I still have not made it. I am hopeful that I will have another chance, but it is certainly no guarantee. It is an important reminder to take those chances when they are there for the taking.
PERSISTENCE (USUALLY) WINS THE DAY
When I went out on my own, I was told time and time again about the power of persistence. That so many businesses fail because they stop too soon. Through the joys and the challenges, the triumphs and the tragedies, I am still here, persevering away.
This persistence has shown up in other areas of my life as well- from graduating as valedictorian, to quitting smoking, to living overseas, I have experienced how committing to something is at the center of success. Of course, there are numerous things I have tried and failed at and continue to fail at. Persistence alone is not the answer, but it is an essential part of any equation for success.
MISTAKES ARE INEVITABLE, RESILIENCE IS OPTIONAL
We cannot learn and grow without making mistakes along the way. The mistakes are an inevitable part of the learning in everything we do. Whether it is a new language, a new musical instrument, or becoming a new manager, you simply cannot master any of it without the mistakes along the way.
All the cliches about falling down and picking yourself back up are as commonplace as they are true. In those moments of stumbling, there is always a choice to give up or keep going.
About a year into my business, I invested a lot of time and money into some marketing materials that arrived with a misprint. A year prior, this would have crushed me, but in that moment, I took a deep breath and thought, “Where do I go from here?” After a year of so many setbacks, I had grown the thicker proverbial skin and learned to just keep on going.
Everything is hard before it is easy. Sometimes we decide that it is just not worth going through the hard part. But if we really want something, we have no other choice.
Going back out to see the Northern Lights was not really hard in the grand scheme of things but it was a choice I was not sure I wanted to make particularly because the outcome was not guaranteed. But after realizing the benefit of trying versus the downside of regret, the trying became a much easier choice.
NOBODY DOES IT ALONE
I have used a lot of ‘I’ so far, but it is foolish to imagine we can ever do any of this alone. There were a lot of people who contributed to my opportunity to go to Alaska and see the Northern Lights and recognizing this is important.
Frequently, I have conversations with friends about starting a business, and with one particular friend, it was all we ever talked about. He had vision and drive but not much in the way of support. “You don’t understand,” he said, “If I fail, I have no one to help me recover.”
Even though I am drawn to the idea of doing this all on my own, I know if it ever came down to it, my family would help me in any way they could. This has undoubtedly allowed me to make many of the choices I have made.
Additionally, colleagues, friends, clients, and mentors have all helped me along the way. There is no way other way to do it that with that support.
SOMETIMES IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO LUCK
One of my college friends was an exceptional athlete who was highly recruited out of high school. He had a strong collegiate career, but things never quite panned out for him at the professional level. If the cards had fallen just a little bit differently, his entire life would have changed. But for whatever reason, they just didn’t.
Often, regardless of how well we have planned and worked and bounced back and gotten support, we do not reach our goal. Sometimes it just works out that way. There is always a piece of it that is beyond our control. All we can do is the very best that we can do.
Seeing the Northern Lights was a dream come true, but it was more than that- it was a goal. Thanks to some solid planning, some good old-fashioned persistence, some resilience, and a little bit of luck, I was able to cross that item off of my bucket list. It remains one of my proudest and most fulfilling completions yet.
What is on your bucket list? What dream are you ready to make into a goal and, with a little bit of luck and a whole lot of persistence, a reality?
