In order to lead effectively, managers are constantly walking a line in an attempt to balance the great demands and expectations of leading well. As entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said, “The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”
As a new manager, it can feel overwhelming to find this balance and this is perhaps never more true or important than in the balance between confidence and humility. Both are essential for successful leadership yet a tip too far one way or the other can create a damaging imbalance that undermines what are you striving to do.
THE IMPORTANCE OF CONFIDENCE
Many managers, first-time or otherwise, struggle with confidence. Sometimes this shows up as too much confidence, or arrogance, and other times it shows up as not enough confidence. Both are a hindrance to effective leadership.
Arrogant managers are not able to lead effectively because they think they know it all. They do not invest in growth, feedback or learning, because they do not believe they need it. They do not value or listen to their staff because they think they know better than they do. They do not invest in their staff because their focus is on themselves. They make decisions without seeking input from those the decisions most affect. They think their title makes them superior. This mindset may continue to get them promoted but it will never make them leaders.
Managers who lack confidence are not able to lead effectively because they give their staffs no reason to follow them. These managers constantly appear frazzled and overwhelmed. They share openly that they do not know what they are doing, that they are exhausted and that they are burnt out. They spend far too long seeking validation and input without ever really making firm decisions. They avoid giving feedback and any level of what they consider to be confrontation. They are often threatened by staff they perceive to be more talented or confident than they are. They do not inspire, motivate or cultivate. They hide. They vacillate. They stall. They defer. They disappoint.
THE IMPORTANCE OF HUMILITY
Humility is an essential trait of an effective leader. Defined as “freedom from pride or arrogance” humility is not the opposite of confidence. Instead, it is an important complement to it. It is an honest appreciation and acceptance of reality. Humility recognizes that none of us is better than anyone else. That our titles do not elevate us. That our learning has only just begun, no matter where we may be on our respective journeys. That everyone we meet knows something we don’t. That our main priority when we become managers is to support and develop those we lead. That the focus ceases to be on us and instead is on those we serve.
Unlike confidence, I’m not sure there is such a thing as having too much humility, but it is certainly possible to have too little of it.
One of the most important facets of having humility is an opportunity to not only recognize and admit what you need to work on but the drive to actually work on it. Humble leaders understand that learning never ends and that there is always an opportunity to improve. That there is an obligation to improve for the betterment of self and those they serve. Humble leaders invest in themselves and their growth because they value the process and the journey. They understand that no matter how far they have come, they always have more to go. They are able to admit both what they are good at and where they struggle. Humble leaders are comfortable and proud of what they cando. They are equally honest about their challenges.
Another important benefit of humility is that it strengthens and deepens your relationship with your team. Your team wants you to be skilled and capable and competent, but they also want you to be human and relatable. They do not expect you to know everything and appreciate it when you are honest rather than try to pretend. They appreciate your deference when you ask them to contribute the skills and knowledge you admit you do not have. Your staff wants to contribute and your humility in recognizing this contribution is invaluable. Maximizing your team’s effectiveness by leveraging everyone’s strengths and interests is a true gift offered by the most committed and humble leaders.
A third benefit of humility is the same benefit as any other skill you demonstrate as a leader- you model for your team. By displaying honest, authentic humility you show your staff it is okay not to know everything. That it is okay to ask for help. That mistakes are not only okay but encouraged and necessary for growth. That we are stronger when we rely on and support one another. That none of us can do it alone and that the value of a team is in its collective and exponential wisdom.
BALANCING CONFIDENCE AND HUMILITY
As a new leader, finding a balance between confidence and humility may take some time. Invest it. Keep working until you get to a good place with it and don’t become complacent. Continue to monitor it and seek regular feedback from those who will tell you the truth when your scales begin to tip too much in one direction or the other.
When you are just starting out, know that your confidence may not be high just yet, but trust in your ability to get there. Normalize this time as new and unfamiliar and be prepared for all the discomfort that unfamiliarity brings with it. Plan on making a lot of mistakes along the way. Understand that leading effectively is a process, a long and wonderful process that requires commitment and patience. Recognize that there are certain principles to leading well and that a lot of how you work with people will vary from individual to individual. Expect days where you are going to feel proud and successful of your performance as a leader and other days that you will feel ill-prepared and defeated. Appreciate that this is all part of the process and that there is no other way.
Embrace the fact that caring about your staff will take you very very far and that it will only take you so far. Recognize that you will need to continue developing and honing your managerial skills as long as you retain that role. Embrace the belief that learning never ends and that there is always opportunity for you to grow.
Find a mentor and a coach to support you throughout your journey. Learn from the experience and wisdom of others and recognize that your journey is unique.
Believe, all the way down to your toes, that the biggest predictor of your success as a leader is your reverence for your role and your commitment to doing it well. The skills will come. Keep at it.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your team. Invest in yourself. Invest in your team. Make your team proud. Make yourself proud. Become a leader worth following.
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