This past week, former Tampa Bay, New England, Pittsburgh and (ever so briefly) Oakland NFL star Antonio Brown left a game in the third quarter, took off his jersey and ran around the end zone before leaving the stadium. It was the latest in a long string of outlandish, odd, and at times violent behavior that has come to characterize the talented and troubled wide receiver.
People both inside and outside of the sports world have been quick to offer opinions, judgements, explanations and occasional empathy in efforts to understand what exactly happened that day. Was it the result of mental illness? CTE? A simple case of diva-itis? None of us knows for sure, but that certainly does not stop folks from speculating.
Many point to a particularly hard and disturbing hit (trigger warning) back in 2016 that may have set off a long chain of unfortunate and frequently disturbing events. Whether or not that is true, Brown’s antics began long before 2016 and were consistently and systematically ignored, tolerated, and rationalized, due to his undeniable talent. In short, he was coddled.
This coddling of talent is not unique to Brown, the NFL or even the world of sports. In professional fields as well as athletic ones, the talented have historically received special treatment, held to a different set of expectations, and given their own set of rules. In competitive fields especially, the temptation to gain an edge proves too tempting for many as values, ethics, and sometimes laws are ignored in the process.
There are several problems with coddling talent, as it negatively impacts everyone involved, including the coddler, the coddled, and the rest of the team- athletic or otherwise.
THE EFFECT OF CODDLING TALENT ON THE WITNESSES
I have worked with kids my entire career, and roughly 98% of that time has been spent listening to, explaining away, and trying to avoid cries of “that’s not fair!” If you are a parent, have worked with kids or have spent any amount of time around them, you know what I am talking about.
You can never make it 100% fair, no matter how hard you try, but it is important that you are doing all you can to serve each and every child as equitably and fairly as possible and that they know it. Even if they still complain about it. Constantly. Loudly. Interminably.
Adults are not much different.
Your staff may not pout or whine when they think you have treated them unfairly (at least not to your face) but that does not mean they are not pouting and whining at least internally and often to others.
Cries of “that’s not fair!” may be dressed up in a business suit but the principle and sentiment remain the same. People want fairness. Professional athletes want fairness. Your staff wants fairness. And they will react internally or externally if they do not get it.
Different staff will react differently to witnessing coddled talent. Some may start to doubt themselves and lose confidence in their own abilities. Others will become resentful and start complaining and stirring up discontent on the team. Others may stop working as hard or may even start looking for another position.
Comparison may be the thief of joy, but it is also the way of life. As Dr. Santos cites in her uber-popular online course, The Science of Wellbeing, most people would rather make a lower salary that is comparable to their peers than make a higher salary that is lower than their peers.
Think about that for a minute.
People would rather harm themselves in the name of what they consider
fairness than reap the benefits of what they believe to be unfairness.
If you are coddling your talent, either intentionally or unintentionally, you are causing great harm to the rest of your team.
THE EFFECT OF CODDLING TALENT ON THE CODDLER
One of the trickiest challenges of leadership is maintaining this concept of fairness while recognizing that you are working with individuals. Individuals with different goals, strengths, opportunities for growth, personalities, working styles, communication styles, backgrounds, areas of expertise, and on and on and on and on. Attempts to treat complex individuals exactly the same is both impossible and does not solve the problem of unfairness.
It is like that old analogy where two people go to the doctor, one with poor eyesight and the other with poor hearing. It is equal but unfair treatment to give them both eyeglasses. So it is with your staff.
It is your job to give glasses to those who need glasses and hearing aids to those who need hearing aids, all the while, listening to complaints that others needed glasses but did not get them and others still wanted them even if they did not need them.
This quest to be fair shows up everywhere: who gets paid what, who gets what amount of time off, whose behavior is excused, whose behavior is
reprimanded, who gets invited to the meeting, who gets access to what professional development and many, many more. Your staff all need something unique from you while they all need the same thing from you.
A common narrative out of New England during their 20-year, 6 Super Bowl winning run, was that Coach Belichick would get on star quarterback Tom Brady as hard if not harder than anyone else. He would call him out in front of teammates and afford him no special treatment. I cannot speak for how Tom perceived this, but countless other players have shared that they benefitted from a culture that held everyone accountable, superstar or not.
Coddling your talent hurts you too. It hurts your reputation and the trust your team has in you. It hurts the way others look at you, including the one you are coddling. When you lose that trust, there is no way for you to lead your team effectively.
THE EFFECT OF CODDLING TALENT ON THE CODDLED
Before signing Antonio Brown, Tampa Bay head coach Bruce Arians is on record saying he would not sign Brown to the team. Less than a year later when Arians signed Brown, he stated publicly and emphatically that if, “[Brown] screws up one time, he’s gone.” Yet when Brown quickly
reverted to his usual shenanigans (if you call a federal crime of producing a
fake vaccination card shenanigans), Arians did nothing about it. The message
was clear to Brown and to the rest of the team- my word is up for negotiation.
You may think that these exceptions ultimately serve the greater good, but the damage they cause almost always outweigh the benefits. In addition to the negative impact coddling has on your reputation as a leader and on the rest of your team, it is damaging to the coddled as well. Talent does not always win out.
As is the case with Brown, people who get away with something tend to try to get away with something else too. Just as cries of “that’s not fair!” do not disappear in adulthood, neither does the tendency to test boundaries. Your staff are always trying to understand what the expectations are, and for most people, including coddled talent, they will continue to push boundaries as long as you keep moving them. Once coddled talent knows they can get away with more and more, they will almost certainly do just that.
This lack of accountability hurts the coddled. Far too often, they are never given the opportunity to grow because no one provides the friction necessary for that to happen. Yes, they already have a high level of talent, but they might never get that extra push that really takes them to the next level. Additionally, they might not ever learn the important lessons of accountability and relationship building, which will serve them throughout their lives both at work and outside of it.
GOING FORWARD
Leading effectively and fairly is challenging work and there is no quick, easy answer for how to do it right. But there is an easy way to do it wrong, and that is to play favorites and coddle your talent.
You need to think about- really think about- how you treat your staff based on their talent and what message you are sending either intentionally or unintentionally.
You need to be honest with yourself and seek out that same honesty from those who know the situation best, i.e., those on your team. Check in often about how you are doing as a leader. If you receive feedback that you are playing favorites, listen, really listen, as difficult as it may be. Resist every urge to be defensive and rationalize actions that have harmed others.
The cover up, as they say, is often worse than the crime, and it does not serve anyone to try and deny what is right in front of everyone’s eyes. Too often managers dig themselves in proverbial holes by denying what is clear to everyone with a shovel.
As a leader, it is your job to provide special treatment to each member of your team. This special treatment should be customized to best serve each person. This is true for the more talented and the less so. Coddling your talent while the rest of your team looks on will not serve anyone involved, including those who are witnesses to the special treatment. They might not take off their jerseys and dance in the endzone as Antonio Brown did, but they will react in their own customized version of this.
Talent is necessary and attractive and needs to be managed. When that talent begins to cause problems, it is your job as a leader to do something about it. Nothing is worth losing the rest of your team over- NFL or otherwise.
