Black Monday and What We Get Wrong About Firing

Black Monday, the day after the regular NFL season ends, is traditionally the day when head coaches get fired. These firings are often predictable as this year’s release of former Falcon’s head coach Arthur Smith and former Commander’s head coach Ron Rivera were.  But sometimes these firings seem to come out of nowhere. 

Such was the case in 2022 when (now former) Miami Dolphins head coach, Brian Flores was fired after 2.5 seasons. After leading the team to a playoff-worthy- and usually job-secure 10-6 record- most of the NFL world was shocked that Flores was among that year’s Black Monday’s firings. His release quickly joined the list of some of the most shocking Black Monday firings in NFL history: Jim Caldwell from Detroit in 2017 , Marty Schottenheimer from San Diego in 2007, and perhaps most famous of all, Jimmy Johnson from Dallas in 1993 after winning back to back Super Bowls.    

There is an easy (although admittedly not universally accepted) case to be made that the none of these coaches should have been fired and that all these teams got it wrong. 

As far as organizations being wrong about firing, though, they are hardly alone.  

WHAT WE GET WRONG ABOUT FIRING #1- It only happens to bad people 

When I was a child, I talked, thought, and reasoned like a child. Whatever I knew of being fired was simple- bad people got fired and good people did not. When I became a woman, I put my childhood ways behind me and began to think differently. As my work experience increased so did my awareness and understanding of how things worked (or did not work in many cases). 

I watched as people around me who were terrible at their jobs never got fired. Some even got promoted. Other people who were wonderful at their jobs got passed over by the same people who were terrible at their jobs. From the outside looking in, there did not seem to be much sense behind these decisions, and this did not change much when I eventually ended up on the inside. 

Throughout my career, I have fired people and have had the unpleasant experience of being fired myself. Rather than shedding the proverbial light on the process, these experiences did little to clarify the unwritten rules about firing and the logic behind them. If anything, it only created more confusion. 

It was not as simple as I had once believed- that bad people get fired and good people do not. Instead, there seems to be little consistency in how decisions are made across organizations and even among managers within the same organization. Some people get fired for being terrible at their jobs or for doing something egregious while others who are equally if not more terrible at their jobs or for doing something equally if not more egregious never get fired. 

Some people are wonderful at their jobs and get fired anyway. For reasons that are as varied as the people doing the firing. Sometimes it is because of personality conflicts or petty jealousies, office politics or retaliation, perceived threats or needing a scapegoat. Often it is as simple as being an honest voice of dissent in an organization that punishes you for it. There are countless reasons, many that have nothing to do with your competence or character. It is rarely as simple as bad people get fired and good people do not. 

WHAT WE GET WRONG ABOUT FIRING #2- Getting fired is shameful 

Unfortunately, we hold onto this belief that only bad people get fired and thereby attach more importance to it than we have any right to. It becomes a scarlet F, causing judgment and shame. Some people begin to question their self-worth and experience negative emotional and psychological consequences that are only exacerbated by financial ones. 

Because of this shame, people who have been fired are reluctant to discuss it, falsely believing they are the only ones who have experience it, which of course only perpetuates the myth since no one ever hears anyone talking about it. You might think you do not know anyone in your circle who has been fired, but I bet you would be surprised to know just how many have been.

Being fired is further complicated by the fact that many job applications and many job interviewers ask about past experience being fired. This puts people on the defensive and in a perpetual state of having to defend what was likely one of the worst professional experiences of their lives. 

Since job seekers are coached never to badmouth a former employer, they are put in a difficult position of how to accurately explain what could very likely have been the result of a former employer who has earned every bit of that badmouthing. Instead, the job seeker is expected to show contrition in order to be granted professional parole. 

For many job seekers, even seeing a question about being fired on an application is enough to not even bother applying.

WHAT WE GET WRONG ABOUT FIRING #3- Only bad people should be fired

The great stigma attached to being fired is not just harmful to the person being fired. It is also harmful to the competent people who should be fired  and the people they work with. 

People who are well-liked and not terrible or in many cases, not a fit for their current position, organization, or even field rarely get fired and they often should be. It is clear to everyone involved, including them, that they would be far more successful elsewhere, but due to the heavy weight associated with being fired, leaders are generally reluctant to let them go, creating a disservice to everyone involved. It holds the employee back and the rest of the team as a result.

In some cases, managers give the person the option to resign, which may save face but does not help with unemployment benefits, saved for those who have been fired but only in the “right” way.

As leaders, we are responsible for hiring and developing people who have the opportunity to thrive and when that does not work out, we need to find a way to make it right. This often should- but does not- involve firing them. 

WHAT WE GET WRONG ABOUT FIRING #4- It is not personal 

We are told that getting fired is one of the worst things that can happen to us. Yet in this most difficult of moments, managers often lose any sense of humanity, choosing instead to facilitate the process in a robotic, HR-laden way. They often fire someone without warning, leaving the employee little opportunity to appropriately react or respond. They even parade the newly fired employee through the office, box of belonging in hands, creating an unnecessary and awkward walk of fired shame.

Of course there are legalities involved in firing and it must be done in ways that protect the manager and the company. But in every way possible, it should also be done to protect the person being fired. That person should be treated with respect and empathy and not be made to feel even worse about an already difficult situation. 

WHAT WE GET WRONG ABOUT FIRING #5- It will ruin your life

HOW TO FIRE BETTER

There are a lot of things I wish were different about the working world, and the importance we attribute to firing is one of them. But wishing does not create change, so let us focus on what can. You. You can begin to create change in your corner of the working world, and you will become a stronger leader because of it.

In your hiring, consider the value in asking about past firings. If it is simply to preclude fired candidates from working for you, ask yourself why you are holding onto the fallible mindset that only bad people get fired. Where can you open your mind to reconsidering this? Who might you be missing out on by holding onto this false belief? What might you gain by not asking this question at all?

As a leader, how do you determine who to fire? Who does this serve? Who does this harm? How might you approach firing more effectively? If you have a competent staff who is just not a good fit, how can you ethically and empathically approach this situation? If you fire someone for incompetence or something egregious, how can you do so as a human being with empathy and compassion? How can you avoid making a life-changing event less harmful and damaging?

If you have experience being fired, how can you comfortably be more open with colleagues and friends, so they do not feel so ashamed or alone? If you have not been fired, how can you support those who have with compassion and without judgment?

Brian Flores did not get fired in 2022 because he is a bad coach and Vic Fangio did not keep his job because he was a great one. Sometimes people lose jobs over things that have nothing to do with their competence or character while other people keep their jobs despite lacking that competence and character. It is not as simple as fired = bad and hired = good. As a leader, very few things are that simple. But they can be made better by how you choose to lead. 

So choose to lead with empathy and integrity. Should you get fired or should you have to fire someone else, do so with compassion and humanity. You will all be better for it.