How to Build a Leader

What does it take to become a leader? Is it something you are born with or something you can develop? Does effective leadership come from the mastery of a prescribed set of skills or is it derived from character and vision? What components are absolutely essential for strong leadership and what, if anything, precludes someone from leading others? Is there one way to be a leader or are there several?

These questions are just some of the many that stay on my mind. Throughout my work of supporting leaders, I often wonder where to begin. As I think about what it takes to become a strong leader, I start to conjure up the idea of a recipe for a really complex and important cake- a leadership cake, if you will. Start with a whole lot of integrity. Mix that in with strong communication skills. Add two cups of vision. Blend with a tablespoon each of decision making, problem solving and conflict resolution. Fold in effective feedback, and then sprinkle delegation on top. Bake at 350. Allow time to cool.

I taste the first batch and realize it is missing something. The taste isn’t quite right yet. I start again, and this time I add equal parts time management, organization and prioritization- all similar flavors but separate and important in their own right. I decide to add another layer- a rich and bold layer made of rewarding and recognizing staff, relationship-building and goal setting. The bowl starts to feel heavy, like I’ve added too much, yet I know there is so much more to include.

The bowl. Could it be about the bowl? The oven? The temperature? The utensils and measuring cups? The vessels for baking rather than the ingredients I’m putting into them. Is it about the person, and not the list of skills I keep trying to pour into them? Is leadership about character, integrity and personality? Is it something intrinsic and impossible to teach? Is it really all about values, mindset and beliefs? Is it about the container for the tools rather than the tools themselves?

Then I wonder if it’s not about creating one perfect cake, but instead if there needs to be an understanding and acceptance that there are lots of different recipes that make various kinds of fabulous cakes. Each flavor of cake is delicious in its own but distinct right (seriously, have you ever tried to decide between a cheesecake and carrot cake- two totally different experiences, impossible to choose, yet you know you can’t go wrong). Maybe it’s embracing that there are lots of ways to make a delicious cake and there’s no need to choose one best one. Maybe it all depends on who’s buying the cake.

At the same time, there are cakes that we all can agree are no good- either because of the ingredients or the way they were combined and baked. Or ones that used to be good but have gone bad over time. Sometimes it’s the way the cake looks or smells but mostly it’s the way it tastes. The minute you bite into it, you know it’s a bad cake and one you will never make again. Isn’t that the same with bad leaders? You just know it. You feel it. This is not a leader you want to invest in. No matter how much frosting they wear to hide what is underneath.

In my lifelong quest to develop my leadership skills and my decade-long quest to help others develop their own, I am constantly searching for the right ingredients to use. Recently I attempted to combine the knowledge and experience I have gained along the way to combine these ingredients into my own recipe for leadership cake.

The ingredients were not chosen out of thin air. I have spent years studying, reading and learning from others about what leadership is and how to develop it. I have dedicated an inordinate number of hours to webinars, trainings, conferences, coaching sessions and coffee (i.e. beer) conversations about how to help people gain the confidence and skills they need to be successful in their work. I’ve gotten to the point where I can identify and articulate the best practices on what makes for strong leadership. At the same time, I have learned that every best practice has a detractor. Somehow, someway, not everyone likes ice cream cake.

Even though my recipe isn’t perfected just yet, I am trying to embrace the mantra that has been shared with me countless times over the years- to not let perfect be the enemy of good. Because people are hungry. They are practically starving for cake. Good, decent, well-made cake. It doesn’t have to win an award at the county fair as long as it’s high quality and made with care.

And the leaders themselves? Many are earnestly, desperately trying to provide it. They just don’t have the write container just yet. Or the right way to deliver it. But it’s there- the foundation is there. They just need some help putting it all together.

That’s what I am trying to do. To help create a recipe for cake that everyone feels good about. Because the truth is, people are struggling. Leaders are struggling and so are the people they lead. In most cases, it is not for lack of trying or lack of desire. In most cases, it is about not having the proper tools or support. In far too many cases, it’s about not having any tools or support at all.

So, here’s the recipe I’m working on. It’s a combination of two main dishes- what I call THE TOOLS and BEYOND THE TOOLS. THE TOOLS is a combination of the practical skills leaders need to develop to be successful. I chose 17 of these skills because…. I needed to choose a number of skills to include. I could just as easily have chosen 7 or 77. Maybe in the future, I will. But for now, the hope is to provide a source of support that is comprehensive enough to be useful but not too overwhelming to be impractical. The skills I chose to include are:

Relationship building

Hiring

Vision-setting 

Goal-setting

Communication 

Team building 

Giving and receiving feedback

Recognizing and rewarding staff

Delegating

Time management

Organization

Prioritization

Problem-solving 

Conflict resolution 

Managing poor performance  

Facilitating effective meetings

Coaching

It is a strong list, but I am quite sure there are countless other versions that would be just as strong if not more so. I am quite sure I omitted important skills, and it is likely I have included some skills that many would consider non-essential. I look forward to improving and developing this list over time, and I would absolutely love your feedback in order to do so.

The other main dish I have created, BEYOND THE TOOLS, focuses more on the internal work of becoming a strong leader. It invites you as a leader to examine your mindset, values and beliefs to understand how they affect the way you lead. I included 17 areas for reflection for the same reason I included 17 skills in THE TOOLS. Plus, I like when things match.

As I continue to seek answers when it comes to leadership- to rework and revamp my recipe- I continue to ponder the questions. The more I study, discuss and learn, the more questions I seem to have. I am grateful for this. Sometimes it is the questions rather than the answers that offer clarity and wisdom. In the meantime, I will keep toying with my recipe until I get this cake just right.

To check out the books, click on each one below. I hope they provide some answers for you and that they spark many, many more questions.

*********************************************************