When I first became a supervisor, I was unprepared and overwhelmed. It was my first job out of graduate school and the supervisory part of it was not really discussed during the interview, hiring, or orientation processes. It just sort of was. I did not even know enough to ask about it. But I learned quickly that my lack of understanding and ability to be an effective supervisor was negatively impacting my work as well as that of my staff. Eventually, I learned how to become an effective supervisor, but too much time had been wasted and too much unnecessary damage had been done. I knew back then that there had to be a better way.
After a decade of figuring out that better way, I went out on my own to help other struggling supervisors become thriving leaders. It has been my great joy to do so.
As I reflect on these past 5 years, I compiled 5 lists of 5 things to help you on your own supervisory journey. May they continue to strengthen and uplift you as you become the thriving leader you strive to be.
5 Leadership Lessons Learned
- Relationships are everything. To lead effectively, you need to build strong relationships and work in relationship with those around you. This involves getting to know your staff as people as well as professionals. Getting to know their strengths, goals, communication styles, working styles, values, needs, quirks, and interests, and adjust your supervision accordingly. You cannot do this work alone and you cannot do it without your staff. Get to know them and involve them.
- Learning to have difficult conversations is essential to your success. Whatever it is that is uncomfortable for you will not go away. Whether it is asking for a raise, rejecting someone else’s raise, giving critical feedback, receiving critical feedback or any of the other countless examples, leading well means addressing what needs to be addressed. You cannot hide behind a self-proclaimed personality trait of just not liking conflict. Learning to confront others is a skill that you can and must learn to lead effectively.
- Everything takes time. Probably more time than you would like. Getting to know your team, creating positive change with your team, it all takes time. Learning the balance between being too hasty and taking too long is a constant balancing act and it is hard to get it right. The best you can do is work together to do the best you can not to rush what needs more time and not delay what needs doing.
- Balance becomes its own skill. Being an effective supervisor means you are both confident and humble, inclusive and able to make unpopular decisions, being available and not enabling, treating your staff equitably and fairly, upholding expectations and understanding the need for exceptions… The list goes on and on. Trying to find that balance is so tricky because it changes with each new situation and each person. Just like #3, you need to do the best that you can and know that you will not always get it right.
- Supervising other people is not for everyone. Be honest and diligent in discerning if it is for you. If you do not like supervising people, you still might be able to be good at it, but you will never be great and people deserve a great supervisor. Just as you deserve to do work that you really enjoy. When you are a supervisor, it becomes the most important part of your role, so make sure it is a role you enjoy and take great care with. If you decide it is not for you, make the honest and difficult decision to step down from that role. And collectively, let us agree to develop promotion opportunities that do not automatically involve supervising others.
5 Leadership Tips
- Meet with your staff regularly for one-on-one time. Different staff will need different levels of support so regularly could mean weekly, biweekly or monthly but do not go any longer than that. You want to make sure you are staying in communication so you can address problems early and praise good work often. These meetings should not be mere task check ins. Use the time to work with your staff to support their goals and coach them.
- Close your open door policy. It is not necessary and not feasible. You need dedicated time to focus and your staff does not need to come to you for everything at any time. Do not promise an open door policy. Be clear when you are not available and encourage your team to do the same.
- Delegate responsibility, not just tasks. A central purpose of delegation is to help your staff grow, not just get rid of tasks you do not like. Knowing your staff’s strengths and goals should determine what you delegate to whom. Talk with them about those opportunities. Include training and mentoring as well. External support is wonderful and so is internal.
- When trying to solve a problem or make a decision, be clear up front what you are asking of the people you are working with. Let them know if you will be making the decision based on a majority, a consensus, or completely on your own. It is okay for you to make executive decisions provided that your intention is clear. No one wants to spend time sharing opinions if it seems you are just going to do what you want to anyway. But if you are clear that you are leaning a certain way and are looking for blind spots or that you will make the final decision but are seeking input, people will respect that and be more open to share.
- Be generous and individual with how you show appreciation to your team. This, perhaps more than anything else, will determine how satisfied your team is. Appreciation is more than simply saying thank you. Even when you mean it. Appreciation means you are listening and responding to what your team is telling you they need. Appreciation requires being heard, not just thanked.
5 Leadership Blog posts
- The Danger of the Desk Salad– about modeling expectations
- How to Coach Your Staff– tips and strategies to coach your team
- You Are Not a Natural Born Leader– a reminder that leading is a skill
- Why You Need to Create More Conflict on Your Team- the danger of constant consensus
- What You Really Need to Be a Strong Leader- understanding that it is more than a collection of skills
5 Leadership Quotes
- “Holding people accountable to high standards and results is nothing to apologize for. Failing to stretch them to their potential is.”- Dave Anderson
- “Doubt increases with inaction. Clarity reveals itself in momentum. Growth comes form progress. For all these reasons, BEGIN.”- Brendon Burchard
- “In most cases, being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.” – Tina Fey
- “It’s okay to admit what you don’t know. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s more than okay to listen to the people you lead- in fact, it’s essential.”- Mary Barra
- “There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.”- Alan Cohen
5 Ways to Keep Growing as a Leader
- Cultivate your network of mentors. It is good and advisable to have multiple mentors for multiple reasons and seasons throughout your career. Not everyone will be amenable and that is okay. Find people who are invested in you and are willing to share their wisdom and support.
- Work with a coach. Leadership can be lonely and you need to be extremely careful who you divulge what to. Make sure you have a professional outlet to help you work through difficult decisions. And always, always, always seek to grow.
- Be open and diverse in your growth. Read books, go to trainings, listen to podcasts, join masterminds, take online courses. There are so many different ways to grow. Try out a way you have never tried before. Even if you think you won’t like it. Maybe even especially then.
- Solicit feedback. Really honest, sometimes punch you in the gut feedback. Primarily from those you lead and also from your own supervisor, your colleagues and whoever else you work with. Be specific in what kind of feedback you are looking for and show gratitude when you receive it, even if you do not agree with it. Be honest with yourself, even when it is hard. The combination of this internal and external reflection will be essential to your effectiveness as a leader.
- Learn to let go. You cannot be good at every skill and task. Determine which ones you have to improve on and which ones you simply need to let go of. Continue to invest in what you are good at and get even better.
Being a strong supervisor is as rewarding as it is challenging. Thank you for continuing to invest in yourself and for your commitment to doing it well. And thank you for the opportunity to help support you along the way. Below is a quick, 1-minute video (click the photo to watch) highlighting the past 5 years. Here’s to another 5, and another, and another…
