In many of my workshops, I open with an exercise asking participants to think about the best supervisor they have ever had. Then, I ask them to list three reasons this person was the best. Next, I ask them to think of the worst supervisor they have ever had and then list three reasons this person was the worst. (I have learned over time to do it in this order because otherwise, people spend much more time on the worst. They seem to have much more to say about them!)
As people share their responses, I capture them in a list for all to see. Inevitably, the lists end up looking pretty much the same from workshop to workshop, group to group. The reasons listed for best managers include many of the same words, most prominently: integrity, empathy, and fairness.
For the worst managers, lists also tend to look the same from group to group, workshop to workshop. The words on this list are often direct opposites of the words on the best list, not altogether unsurprising. Some of the most common responses include: dishonesty, incompetence, and inconsistency.
As we examine the lists together, we discuss what we notice and what patterns we see. Eventually, either a participant notices or I point out, that very few items on either list are what we would commonly consider skills, and more specifically, management or leadership skills. In most cases, the lists are a collection of attributes that could describe the best people and the worst people you know. The message being, a great manager starts with being a great person.
To be honest, this quote is not mine. I cannot even rightfully attribute it because I found it in a Reddit forum. It is simple, to be sure, but often doing or saying something in a simple way is really, really hard.
The concept is not new, and is in fact one I include in all my work on managing others. But I have never been able to say it so clearly and so concisely. So, thank you, anonymous Redditor friend for capturing what is at the crux of effective management. So much of being a great manager starts with being a great person.
Certainly, being an effective manager requires skills- quite a few of them actually. It is important- necessary- to develop these skills and learn to do them well. When you become a manager, you will be expected to have these skills- many of which are quite complex- often without receiving any training or guidance on how to do that. You will need to put forth great effort to develop them, in many cases on your own.
Many of these skills- facilitating a meeting, delegating, conducting a performance review- will be skills you may not have had to use before and unfortunately will not be able to practice ahead of time. The initial bumpy period almost all new managers experience is largely due to this. The learning comes in real time and it has real consequences for both you and for those you lead.
Management training courses, programs, books, blogs, conferences, podcasts, and workshops frequently focus on these skills. Which is great because they are important. But they will never be more important than what most people (including the folks in my workshops) use to determine your effectiveness as a manager. Running effective meetings and being organized are essential but not enough to lead a team. You also need to be a great person who leads with empathy, equity, and fairness.
When you become a manager, there is a lot to adjust to and a lot to learn. I do not want to imply that being a great person is enough. As the title of this blog so clearly conveys (thanks again, my Redditor friend), being a great manager starts with being a great person. That is the foundation. The rest of the stuff you can and should learn. You need to learn. And once you learn that stuff and use it with your great person self, you will most certainly become the leader you strive to be.
