I have a standing monthly meeting with two people. After sending out a reminder for the latest one, one of the participants said that they could not make it. I then emailed both letting them know we had to reschedule and to please choose from five new proposed times by the end of the day. Neither responded. I followed up the next day, and one told me they would confer with the other and let me know. The one got back to me with a time I had not listed and was not available. I followed up and the one chose a time I had listed and was available assuring me they had conferred with the other. When I sent the calendar invite, the other declined because the one had not in fact conferred with other. What a pain, and what an absolute waste of time. So many emails. So little accomplished.
Like many other aspects of technology there are no universal rules- and rarely organizational ones- to guide our use of email. Yet we all approach emails with our own, often unexpressed expectations about how email should be done. How long it should take for someone to respond. Who should be copied and when a blind copy is okay. Or if it ever is. Whether read receipts are good practice or too micromanage-y. Whether greetings should be included. Or well wishes at the end.
You may have strong opinions about some of the above and see a clear right and wrong. For others you may be indifferent. It is important to understand that other people feel equally strongly about their opinions, their wrong as clear to them as your right is to you. Because these differences are unique to each and every person you communicate with, it is easy to get overwhelmed, frustrated, and hopeless.
These challenges are exacerbated by the fact that email usage and etiquette vary not only by individual but also broadly by generation. The younger the generation, the less likely they are to use email consistently if at all.
For all of these reasons and more, we have created for ourselves a great big email mess, but we can also dig our way out of it. Here are some ways to get started:
- Be focused- For many of us, we open emails as they come in either on our phones or on our computers. We may then respond to them as soon as they come in, or think we did, never to actually hit send. Either way, keeping notifications on and reading every email as it comes in is troublesome for several reasons. For starters, these constant interruptions prevent us from focusing on our work, disrupting that ever elusive flow that gives us space to do our best thinking and ultimately our best work.
Further, when we respond quickly, we often do not give our responses the attention they deserve and/or we do not read the email thoroughly, answering the first item, but neglecting the remaining two. Which of course will create more email as the original sender now has to reach back out to re-ask for the information they did not receive the first time.
To improve on this, you can start but shutting off your notifications. In most cases in most jobs, you do not need your email on your phone. On your computer, you do not need messages interrupting you every time they come through. Instead, shut of those notifications, and set aside focused time each day to go through your emails. You can play around with frequency and timing to determine what works best for you. It may be that once a day is sufficient or three times per day may be better. You may find the beginning and end of the day are perfect times or that lunch time is most effective. Whatever you decide, make email a task like any other and put it in your calendar like other tasks. This dedicated time and focus will eliminate a lot of mistakes that cause more emails as a result.
- Be clear- Very often, we create more emails for ourselves by not being clear. This shows up in several different ways. For starters, we are not clear about our expectations when it comes to response times or even whether a responses is needed. As a team and as an organization, it is helpful to be clear about the expectation around responding to an email. This response may be different for internal and external emails. Whatever it is, articulate it and remind people of it as you do with any other policy or expectation.
Further, when you construct your emails, be clear about what you need as well as when you need it. Using phrases like, “what do you think?” or “when you get a chance” leave too much room for mismatched communications. Instead, let people know the purpose of your email and what they need to do with the information (e.g., respond, put something on their calendar, check back in by…). If you are looking for a response, make sure that is clear with phrases like, “let me know if you have any questions or if everything is clear” or “please confirm receipt.” If there is no need to respond, you may want to include that as well.
Finally, make your subject line as accurate as possible so when people look for your email again, they know exactly which one it is.
- Be organized- Sometimes I will catch a glimpse of someone’s inbox in a screenshot or when I am passing by and my heart jumps when I see hundreds if not thousands of unread emails. No wonder it feels overwhelming. This is generally the result of being disorganized, which in a cruel twist of fate, ends up creating more emails for ourselves.
Often this shows up when we do not respond when we say we will, or forget to add an attachment, or do not ask everything in the initial email and remember other things we need. All of these then require additional emails which keeps the unwanted cycle going.
One strategy that has helped me a lot is to go through my emails each day, marking which should be spam, unsubscribing from those I am able to and only keeping those that need some action. Otherwise, they are deleted or moved into an appropriate folder. This also includes my spam folder. Too many non-spam items end up in there and when you do not check your spam folder you end up with a bunch more emails from people wondering why you have not responded.
In the body of your email, it can be helpful to use bulleted lists, highlights, bold and underline to call attention to particularly important information.
Some people like to use folders. Some like to put reminders or red flags on certain items. Some organize their inbox by order of importance or by date. Good old-fashioned to do lists work wonders for many people (including me). There are lots of ways to organize what is coming and going and it may be helpful to try out a couple of before landing on something that works best for you.
- Be intentional– It has become a running joke that most meetings can be emails. It is also true that many emails can also be phone calls. Or a drop by someone’s desk. Or a conversation during an upcoming meeting. Before sending an email, think about if it is necessary to send and if so, if email is the best way to do it. If you find yourself typing and typing and typing, it may be a sign that this should be a conversation instead. If it is going to require a lot of back and forth, a phone call or face-to-face may be better.
A lot of unnecessary email is the result of scheduling (the absolute bane of my existence!) Explore different scheduling tools and systems like Doodle, Calendly or Acuity (Calendly’s multi-feature annual plan is literally the best $98 I have ever spent), or internally, a way to view other people’s availability instead of the inbox-clogging method of, “How about Tuesday?” “Nope, Tuesday’s no good for me. How about Thursday?” Ad infinitum.
If you are committed to a tool-free scheduling system and prefer to send out availability via email be sure to share multiple options when you do. So often when someone is trying to schedule something with me, they will ask me about one time and date which in many cases does not work so it requires a game of email ping-pong that I never enjoy playing. Always provide at least three options when trying to match up schedules.
This last suggestion is cliché, but it does not make it any less true. Beware the reply all and try to get ahead of it when you can. I do not condone BCC when it is done for clandestine purposes, but when you are emailing multiple people (as is my annual experience in my March Madness pool when the organizer includes 300+ people in the email and then a subsequent chain ensues of people replying all and other people saying not to reply all…), consider putting them into a BCC to avoid this. It is clear some people just cannot resist the urge to reply all or be bothered to pay attention to when they are using it. This might help get ahead of some of that.
- Be flexible- Like with all communication, different people have different preferences. Some people include a greeting and a goodbye in every email. Other people get right to the point. Although it may seem that there is a right or wrong way to go about this, it really comes down to preference. As a leader, you want to accommodate the needs of those you lead, so pay attention to how they communicate and adjust accordingly to improve your communication. For example, if they use your name and ask about your day, respond in kind. If they are to the point, feel free to serve that point right back.
If you are someone like me who has been accused of being cold or harsh based on your email style, this is something to consider. You may be okay with that label, and you may also want to consider how this may be impeding your ability to reach your goals. Tone-policing is filled with complex intersecting isms, and I am not advocating that we change who we are as people. I simply raise the point for you to make your own decisions about what serves you best and what serves those you serve. With your team who knows you well, they may be less affected by email tone because they have face to face interaction with you. With external partners or funders you are trying to court, they do not yet have the benefit of knowing you in person and may be quick to judge based on said email. Again, I am not saying it is right, and I am not saying you should accommodate other people’s preconceptions and prejudices. This is a tricky one for sure and one that deserves further self-reflection.
Email may one day go by the wayside- at least if our younger generations have anything to do with it- but for now, it is here. We can all do a better job of making it a little less cumbersome and a little more efficient each and every time we open that inbox. Hopefully over time that task will feel a little less daunting and a little more purposeful as a means to the end you are trying to reach.
