New Year Same You

As we enter a new year filled with hope, expectations and discussions around our respective resolutions, it is common to see “new year, new me” declarations plastered across various social media. Designed to motivate, I appreciate the intention behind these. I also cringe a bit each year when this occurs, because the obvious, yet seasonally ignored truth is, we do not magically transform into someone new each and every year, and the good news is, we do not need to.

Even the most drastic changes we make in our lives- during the new year or otherwise- do not fundamentally make us different people. At our core, we are who we are every minute of every year. We are powerful and flawed and filled with potential for all the good and evil on God’s green earth. Every minute of every year. Improving certain parts of who we are will not alter who we are. Our habits or mindsets may shift but we are not new. We are who we are. Always.

This is not to say that we should not strive to better ourselves and that these changes do not create, well, changes. Self-improvement is a lofty, important and lifelong mission that can be healthy and good. But there is an implication with this phrase that our “better” selves are somehow not our true selves but rather someone completely different- a new me if you will.

As a coach, as a social worker, as an educator, as a Christian, and as a human being, I have been trained and comforted by the fact that we are enough as we are and that we are worthy exactly as we are. Not almost worthy or worthy when, but worthy every minute of every day. And that who we are at our best and who we are at our worst are both exactly who we are. 

This worthiness is not synonymous with or an excuse for complacency. It is important and necessary that we individually and collectively maintain a spirit and drive for improvement to be the best versions of ourselves- the best version, not an entirely different one. It seems paradoxical- this concept of accepting ourselves exactly as we are while striving to grow into something different, something we frequently equate with better. Paradoxes do not sit well with most of us, myself included, but it does not make them any less powerful or true. You are worthy and enough even at your worst. You are worthy and enough at your best. And they are both you. 

How you are called to learn and grow this year will differ from how others are called. It may be different from how you were called last year or will be called next year. Reflecting on where you are and strategizing on how to get where you want to be does not need to wait until the new year. We know this. Yet for many of us, the collective attention on resolutions and the excitement of something new are often enough to motivate us.

Maybe the new year is too cliché of a time for you. If that is the case, then reflect and refocus in October. Or July. Or every other Wednesday. The time is arbitrary. It is whatever works for you. Committing to and following through with self-improvement goals is challenging and however you can get there is how you should get there.

Perhaps an accountability partner will help you. Try it and see. Maybe rewards will help keep you going. Experiment and find out. Try different methods and approaches to see what really helps you simultaneously appreciate who and where you are as you strive to get to where you want to go. As the same you. And show as much gratitude for those attempts that move you forward as for those that keep you where you are, because they both equally help you eventually get to where you want to be. 

A foundational belief of coaching is that we are all naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. That we inherently have what we need to reach the goals we set for ourselves. Often, we need someone else to help us realize this and many times we need someone to help us access this- the us that is already there. It is equally there when we change and when we stay the same. It is always there, showing up as our whole, worthy, exactly as we are selves.

So, this new year (or this October or July or every other Wednesday), embrace the new year, same you. As paradoxically flawed and perfect as you already are- equally today as you were yesterday and equally today as you will be tomorrow. No matter how different, and just exactly the same.