We all have that one friend. No matter how many times we have asked and how many strategies we have tried, they always show up late. Maybe it does not bother you or maybe it enrages you. Maybe you are that friend. Whatever the case may be, we learn how to adjust to the people in our lives based on their timetables.
This is true of starting times for events too. Movies and sporting events reliably start on time while concerts notoriously start late. We adjust our planning accordingly. Depending on your culture and your family, you understand what the expected time to arrive at a 7:30 party or dinner is (and know who that one person is who simply does not get the unspoken rule of what that expected time is).
In the professional world this shows up all day every day when it comes to the many, many meetings we attend. Through experience, we learn quickly which meetings start on time, which ones start late, and how late each late one starts. We know what time the 1:00 meeting is really going to start depending on the person who is running it.
Like in your personal life, lateness in the meetings in your professional life may infuriate you, slightly irritate you, or have no effect on you whatsoever. Whatever your reaction, you will undoubtedly experience late meetings as nearly half of them start late.
What is a punctual person to do?
Like with all things, there are some things we can control and others we cannot. When it comes to other people’s meetings, there is often not much we can do to change them. Our choices, then, are to get upset or to accept that which we cannot change and make the most of it. Knowing a meeting is going to start late, like a concert, or like a 7:30 party that really means 9:00, we can adjust. We can show up late too. Or bring work with us. Or use the time to chat with coworkers. If we want to be more proactive, we can choose to address the organizer of the meeting, weighing the potential cost and benefit of doing so. Hey boss, time’s a ticking here!
I will admit, as someone who is punctual, this is not easy for me. On principle and in practicality, I do not like things to be late. I am perpetually surprised (though at this point there is no reason to be) how much of the professional world operates on a late schedule and I am perpetually frustrated by it (which does me absolutely no good.)
When I run my own meeting, I start on time and let others know that I will be doing so. Which leads me to the question I find myself asking over and over again- why doesn’t everybody?
When I arrive on time to meetings and events- especially those that are early in the morning and especially those that I have to fight through traffic to get to- only to be told that we will wait for others to arrive, I cannot help but feel frustrated. Despite many years of working on this and the many tools and strategies I have developed, some days it still just ticks me off.
During COVID when most meetings switched to virtual, one of the silver linings I anticipated was the elimination of this as we no longer had to account for traffic or parking or late public transportation- the usual suspects named while sitting and waiting for others. But sure enough, this culture of waiting for those who were late quickly transferred to the virtual world. Instead of waiting for those held up by literal traffic we started waiting for people to “log on and settle in”, working through whatever virtual traffic they may be encountering.
It makes me wonder, though, which is the chicken here and which is the egg? Do people wait to start meetings late (or at the very least half of them) because of people who show up late or do people show up late because they anticipate that the meeting will start late?
It may seem like I am making a big deal out of nothing. It would not be the first time I have been accused of that. And what’s the big deal about five or ten minutes anyway? But it is not just a principled stance. The research backs me up here.
Not only do these wasted minutes of late-starting minutes add up, but there is another significant cost too. Meetings that start late are both perceived as being less effective and in actuality are less productive than meetings that start on time. There is a cost to this lateness, and it is important to consider this cost each time you choose it. What other costs might you be incurring too?
Additionally, as a leader, it is important to examine your behavior and understand how it is driving the behavior of others. You set the expectation, and no expectation is clearer than the one you set by your example. Do you ask your staff to show up on time but then not show up on time yourself? Do you expect everyone to be ready for meetings that you are consistently not ready for? Have you decided that your 7:30 dinner invitation really means 9:00pm and that it is both clear and okay?
The most challenging expectations for staff to follow are those that are unwritten and those that are inconsistent. Do you sometimes start on time and other times not? Do they know what to expect? Does what you are saying match what you are doing? Is it true all of the time or just sometimes? What does your staff think? Have you asked them?
I have long given up wishing everyone would operate as I do. In fact, I have learned to be grateful for that. But I continue to advocate for being clear, so staff know exactly what to expect. When you invite them over at 7:30, what time should they show up? What time does that 1:00 meeting really start?
